Katherine’s Mind

I’ve never been a huge fan of New Year’s Eve, but New Year’s Day is one of my all-time favorite holidays (After Valentine’s Day, of course. Christmas and Easter are in a separate category duh). As much as I mourn endings, I love the feeling of a fresh start: The leaf turned over, the slate wiped clean. Several years ago, I began choosing thematic words to guide my focus for the coming year. In 2023 it was “Pruning” based on John 15:1-5, and in 2024 it was “Manna” inspired by Exodus 16.

In Exodus 16, the Israelites are wandering in the wilderness after Moses leads them out of Egyptian slavery, and they grumble against this freedom. In their discontent, they tell Moses and Aaron, “Would that we had died by the Lord’s hand in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the pots of meat, when we ate bread to the full; for you have brought us into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger” (Exodus 16:3). The Lord then tells Moses, “Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you” and commands the Israelites to gather only what they need for each day (16:4). 

Sure enough, in the morning, the Lord provides manna for the people to sustain and nourish them. Some, distrustful that the Lord would provide again the next day, attempt to store up and save manna for the next morning. In their pride, they believe A. they know best how to take care of themselves, B. they could hide things from God, and C. God wasn’t as generous or as capable as He said He was. These leftover rations “bred worms and became foul” as a result of their pride (16:20).

On the day before the Sabbath, a time intended for the people to rest from their labors, the Israelites were to gather twice as much manna (some for that day, and some for the Sabbath day). When the Israelites obeyed and abstained from work on the Sabbath, this day-old manna did not become moldy, but stayed fresh and edible.

When I chose my word for 2024, I did so in an effort to acknowledge God’s mighty provision in my life and content myself with His good gifts, both big and small. In His kindness, He provided eyes to see these moments! They took the forms of career guidance, meaningful summer work, deepened relationships, well-timed wisdom, late-night and early-morning conversations with my dear roommates, financial opportunities, extended time, supernatural strength, incomprehensible peace, creative opportunities, rooted community… the list goes on. I have been richly, richly blessed.

But in some ways, I expected to reach the end of the year and have a laundry list of ways in which the Lord provided for me. After all, He always has. What I didn’t expect, however, was a laundry list of ways in which I, like the Israelites, grumbled against God. At times, I asserted that I knew better than Him. I tried to hide things from Him, I believed He wasn’t as generous or capable as He promised, and I worked to store up security for myself instead of resting in the security He already achieved for me.

In His kindness, He provided eyes to see these moments too. 

I’ve come to a deep appreciation for the Sabbath this year. For a long time, it had been presented to me as a legalistic obligation I must do to earn God’s favor. It brought about resentment, anxiety, workaholism, broken relationships, and distrust of God’s goodness. Like the Israelites, I didn’t believe that I would be safe and taken care of if I rested. I believed that only my hard-work could achieve true security. And, like the Israelites, I found my efforts to evade rest futile. 

Exodus 16 describes manna as “bread from heaven.” In John 6, just a little bit after Jesus feeds the 5,000 with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, Jesus talks to the crowd about the True Bread from Heaven:

Jesus answered them and said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, you seek Me, not because you saw signs, but because you ate some of the loaves and were filled. Do not work for the food that perishes, but for the food that lasts for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you, for on Him the Father, God, has set His seal.” Therefore they said to Him, “What are we to do, so that we may accomplish the works of God?” Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.” So they said to Him, “What then are You doing as a sign, so that we may see, and believe You? What work are You performing? Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written: ‘He gave them bread out of heaven to eat.’” Jesus then said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, it is not Moses who has given you the bread out of heaven, but it is My Father who gives you the true bread out of heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down out of heaven and gives life to the world.” Then they said to Him, “Lord, always give us this bread.”  Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; the one who comes to Me will not be hungry, and the one who believes in Me will never be thirsty.” – John 6:26-35

Yes, the Lord provided for me emotionally and materially in my times of need this past year. In both grieving and hopeful prayers, He interceded on my behalf to the Father. In moments of fear, He gave me courage to act or boldness to speak. In lonely hours, He contented me with His presence. I never went hungry, I had a roof over my head, and my coat was always warm enough for the Chicago winter. 

Far more importantly, though, Christ provided Himself for me. In His death on the cross, He suffered death and the wrath of the Father that I, a shameful sinner, deserved to suffer. Out of His immeasurable love for me, He took my place. He provided a substitute. And it didn’t stop there! In His resurrection, He conquered over sin and death once and for all and provided a way for me to commune with the Father! The relationship, once broken by sin, restored. This communion with Him has absolutely nothing to do with me, my good deeds, or my hard work, but it has everything to do with the ultimate provision of Christ’s sacrifice. 

In terms of the Sabbath, I no longer need to work every single day to justify my existence. I can rest assured that He has already fulfilled my deepest needs and hunger, and that I am justified (or made right with God) through Christ’s work alone. The work was finished on the cross. There is no more to do. The Sabbath is an invitation to rest from the expectations of the world and turn my focus to God as the only one who can sustain us.

I praise God for providing breath in my lungs and food in my belly every day of 2024. These gifts are more profound than I can begin to understand. And yet, I praise God all the more for providing His Son to love me to the point of death that I might come to know, love, and serve Him all the days of my life and all of eternity to come. He is the True Manna, the Bread of Life, and my daily sustainer.

In the Christian sacrament of the Eucharist/Lord’s Supper/Communion, the wine represents Jesus Christ’s blood poured out for us, and the bread represents His body broken for us on the cross. He commands His disciples at the Last Supper to take and eat, “for as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until He comes” (1 Corinthians 11:26). May I feast on Him daily, proclaiming His death and second coming, and never experience hunger! Amen. 

[For those of you interested, my word for 2025 will be “clay” based on Isaiah 64:8 “But now, Lord, You are our Father; We are the clay, and You our potter, And all of us are the work of Your hand” and Romans 9:2-21 “But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” Does not the potter have the right to make out of the same lump of clay some pottery for special purposes and some for common use?” Please pray for me as I aim to grow in submission to His sovereignty in this upcoming year.]